The Celebrities You Meet at 35,000 Feet

Last week’s story about Tico Torres is one of my favorites to tell. It's got magic, romance, a lot of charm and charisma (both his and mine). I've enjoyed telling that story and many others over the years. I tried to dial it back to just the core of the story, since I've heard that I'm "too f@!king wordy" (but in a fun way, right?)

Typing it all out also got me thinking about all the different celebrities I met while I was flying. As you might imagine, there are many opportunities to meet a lot of different people from all walks of life when flying, and celebrities are just people who happen to have a career that puts them in the public eye.

Before we get into this post, I need to say something up front: I'm not a celebrity fangirl. I don't see them as being somehow better than the rest of us. They're just humans who are talented at doing certain things and get a lot of attention for it.

I have never asked for photos with a celebrity. I never asked for anyone's autograph. I don't collect celebrity sightings. Not because I’m better than that—I love watching people meet their heroes and absolutely lose their minds—but it always felt a little…icky to me. A little graspy. Like, turning a human into a Pokémon moment for myself (I just realized this analogy doesn't work before 2016, and I'm writing about times before Pokémon Go app launched, but anyway...).

Even back then, before I had language for it, I understood that weird one-sided attachment thing. We call it a parasocial relationship these days. I didn’t want to be part of that kind of relationship. I wanted these famous people to feel like I saw them as a person, just another passenger on my flight, and for the most part, I think I did a pretty good job.

Except for that one time. We’ll get there.

Okay, so, to start with: most of my celebrity sightings were on JFK–LAX or LAX–JFK. Those flights are basically flying casting couches (not in the gross way). These two cities are the biggest movie/tv/music scenes in the United States. Maybe even the world?

Here’s the part that surprised me: fame does not map cleanly to where people sit on a plane. You’ll have someone wildly famous in the very back of the plane just minding their business…and then someone you’ve barely heard of sitting in first class like they invented oxygen. It's fascinating. Here are a handful of the folks I've met that I think you'll recognize.

The Sweet One

Topher Grace boarded in a hat and sunglasses like he was trying to be incognito, which honestly just made him look like…a guy. A regular dude. Just an average scrawny white guy. Most people on that flight probably didn't even look twice at him, despite this taking place only a couple of years past the final season of "That 70's Show" and Spider Man 3. Me personally, I loved him in Win a Date With Tad Hamilton, but no one asked.

Like if you passed him on the street you’d be like, “Oh, that guy has nice posture,” and keep walking. He sat a few rows from the back, had the whole row to himself, ordered a drink (non-alcoholic, IIRC), and immediately curled up like a cat and passed out.

At one point he woke up and I asked if he needed anything and he goes, “Yeah… how much longer?” I said, completely deadpan, “You’ve only slept about 45 minutes. We still have four hours.”

His face fell. I mean, truly collapsed with disappointment.

I let it hang there for just a second before I was like, “I’m kidding. We’re landing in 30.” His relief was immediate and total.

He was adorable. 10/10 would emotionally toy with again.

The “Wait…Who?” One

I had Geoffrey Arend—the “these snozzberries taste like snozzberries” guy from Super Troopers—on one of my flights. Y'all listen…he is not, on paper, the hottest man in Hollywood. Not even close. But then you find out he’s with Christina Hendricks and you’re like—Oh, okay. He's got that Confidence with a capital C. Maybe even a huge...you know (I don't actually know, I'm just guessing, because have you SEEN Christina Hendricks!?).

He was polite. Quiet. Possibly lightly medicated in a “please let me get through this flight without anxiety” kind of way, not a “licking the seat” kind of way. We love that for him.

The Disappointing One

I had Sofía Vergara in first class once.

This one hurt a little. Because I wanted her to be Gloria: Warm. Funny. Slightly chaotic. Effortlessly charming.

She was not that. She was…cold. Distant. Not just a little dismissive. Very clearly operating in a “you are the help” mindset. Which, to be clear, I was providing a service. But there’s a difference between being served and seeing someone as a human. That one left a displeasing taste in my mouth.

The Quiet One

I had Darren Aronofsky on a flight and spent a solid ten minutes staring at the manifest like, “Why do I know this name?” Quick Google (well, actually, slow because wifi sucked in 2010), and I realized “Oh. That’s why.”

He was completely low-key. Polite. Invisible, almost. Which honestly feels appropriate for a director.

Side note: I also once saw “Adam Levine” on the manifest and fully prepared myself to casually serve a member of Maroon 5. It was not him. Not even close. Same name. Different life entirely. And that was a real "don't make assumptions" moment for me personally.

The Flirty One

One time, I had Ja Rule on a flight to Vegas. And let me tell you—he was delightful. He was shorter than I expected, but I'm not judging. If a man is confident enough to hit on me knowing the height difference, I'm here for it. I'll meet that energy!

At one point I walked from the back of the plane to the front and he had his feet up on the bulkhead (which drives me nuts). I told him to get his feet off my bulkhead, which is not typically how people talk to celebrities, but I felt comfortable and he took it well. Got a little sassy back. We flirted. He got my number. We stayed in touch for a few months until he went to prison for a short time.

He invited me to come hang out on set (they were filming a music video for a few days). Y'all, I 100% would have. But my layover was only like…ten hours. Sadly, unless I was planning to teleport, it just wasn’t in the cards.

And Then There Was Betty

Betty White was the only time I ever truly lost my carefully cultivated flight attendant composure. Not outwardly, of course, I held it together and looked totally professional.

But internally? I was doing the Gen Z silent screaming thing before these kids ever created it.

She was in 3A. Her male travel companion was in seat 3B.

I go up to them during the first drink service. I took her order (some kind of tea) and then ask what he wants. He says, “Diet Coke.”

And she smacks him on the arm—lightly—and goes, “Diet Coke, please.”

Friends, I had to physically stop myself from giggling. Because that was it. That was all I needed. I already loved her. But I fell IN LOVE with her right then. That tiny correction told me everything I wanted to know about her.

Classy. Kind. Present.

She read a children’s book about rhinoceroses for most of the flight. Just…fully in it. Curious. Engaged. Existing like a normal person.

I left her alone. I respected my own rules and her privacy.

Until we landed. Because sometimes you have to break your own rules.

She and her friend were the last people to leave the first class cabin. We were deplaning in LAX from the second door on the 757, so the first class cabin had to walk back to the door and the economy cabin walked forward to the door.

No one else was there, and I just...had to "shoot my shot." I walked up to her and said, “I don’t normally do this, but…I adore you. Would it be possible...could I have a hug?”

She didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”

And it wasn’t a quick, polite hug, it was a real one. Two arms. Full contact. Warm. Present. I walked off that plane feeling like I had just been personally blessed by a national treasure. You couldn't tell me nothing for the next week. I was floating.

That’s the thing about meeting celebrities. Most of them, they’re just people. Some are lovely. Some are disappointingly human, maybe even having a bad day. Some are exactly what you’d expect.

But every once in a while, you meet someone who makes you feel like the version of them you hoped was real…actually is.

I will never forget that hug.